the room
“You’ll be ruined, completely ruined. God will scatter you far and wide; a few of you will survive here and there in the nations where God will drive you. There you can worship your homemade gods to your heart’s content, your wonderful gods of wood and stone that can’t hear or see or eat or smell.”
“God’s love is meteoric,
his loyalty astronomic,
his purpose titanic,
his verdict oceanic.
Yet in his largeness
nothing gets lost;
Not a man, not a mouse
slips through the cracks.” - (Deuteronomy 4:27-28; Psalm 36:5-6)
To the new nation of Israel, God was having his share of challenges. They kept forsaking Him, refusing to trust His words. So as they entered a new land of Canaan, God set it plainly: follow me. But if you don’t, then scatter. I’ll disperse you to other lands. Lands where you can do as you please. But you’ll do it in isolation. That is your consequence.
Sin has the power of making us feel alone. Much like Israel, when we start to follow our own path, God doesn’t abandon us. But God allows us to walk that path towards isolation, to a room where we worship our idols, build our empire, live for goals that cannot eat or sleep or smell or breathe. It’s here we see what our own ways have achieved - building up walls to keep us hidden inside, fearful of what others may think, unable to see others as God sees them, with love, compassion, faith, grace.
I know this room well. My secret sins are the bricks, and unwanted memories the wallpaper that serve to show me how far I’m off the mark. I allow lust, pity, selfishness, independence to corner me, and I live alone in the dark. Why do I do that? God only knows. And still, I plough through life like nothing’s really wrong.
But God rescues. God still says, nothing separates me from His love. That meteoric, titanic, oceanic love. Because He knows how to be small. In His largeness, I am not lost, but found. His grace drags me out kicking and screaming from my room, and showers my with faith - I am His. I revel in this, rejoice that I don’t belong in the room. I am not lost, but His.
Oh Father, I’m messy. I’m indulgent. I’m too serious, tired because I keep beating up on myself. But Father, save me. Help me. Remind me of love unsolicited, love divine.
I come as I am, and ask you to grant me strength, grace, faith, love for the period ahead.
Grazie signore. Amen.
