wounded animals
“Simon Peter, when he saw it, fell to his knees before Jesus. “Master, leave, I’m a sinner and can’t handle this holiness. Leave me to myself.”… Jesus said to Simon, “There is nothing to fear. From now on you’ll be fishing for men and women.” (Luke 5:8,10)
Simon Peter was an ordinary fisherman. His days were pretty routine, and his intentions probably for good, not evil. Yet, when he came into contact with Jesus, he reacted as many would have: he felt ashamed. He felt too unpure next to a Man of Holiness. What else can one do in the presence of the Most High?
There seemed to be a raw acknowledgement of inadequacy when people in the Bible came into contact with God. All the secret sins, all the wounds we carry so deep, they surface when Jesus enters our world. It’s the first natural response we have before our Maker: You know me. You see me. I am but a sinner. I am but a lost child. Save me. Forgive me. You are God.
I am but a wounded animal. Broken by the world’s captive voices, eager to carve a niche for myself, I am territorial. I lash out at anything and anyone that points at my flaws, don’t want anyone to know my weaknesses. I have created many masks that hide my pains very well. Woe is me, for I am most definitely someone who misses the mark.
Yet, Jesus smiles and says: there is nothing to fear. Not my sin, not my independence, not my selfishness, not my propensity to follow what others say. Because in the presence of Christ, I am saved. Grace is the power that rules over sin. I am His.
It’s amazing how flawed people like us - like me - can ever partner with our Creator for His redemptive work. Yet, with a love that’s deeper than the ocean, he calls us to live gracefully, selflessly, as symbols of hope for our world. God uses wounded animals. He uses crackpots, broken vessels, outsiders in every sense of the word. Grace becomes the story that resounds in my life.
I shake my head in disbelief. Even when I feel filthy, I am called worthy. I am wrecked, Father, by lust, pride, independence, distrust. But you still hold me by the hand and say: You have nothing to fear. Just follow me.
Fear not what the world says.
Fear not philosophies and beliefs.
Fear not the judgement of others.
Fear not the life of an outsider.
I am Here.
Father, Your grace is more than enough. I fall ashamed by my sin. But you are so Gracious, Love Personified.
In the presence of all I am not, what matters is what you call me: Child. Created. Loved. Liked. Mine.
Hallelujah. Amen.
