complacent no more
“So they shall eat the fruit of their own way
And be satisfied with their own devices.
For the waywardness of the naive will kill them,
and the complacency of fools will destroy them.
But he who listens to me shall live securely.
And will be at ease from the dread of evil.” (Proverbs 1:31-33)
“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” (Romans 7:18)
The way of the flesh and the way of Christ. Paul struggles with both directions, and both are like anchors weighing on either side. Sin, it seems, takes hold of Paul time and time again. It leads to distraction, oh, how it pulls him apart with its allure.
I understand his plight. But I’m also a little frightened. The God of Proverbs seems to be one who lacks patience. Who turns away when you refuse His guidance. Who allows ignorance to seep through my spirit, left to my own devices, never sensing His presence.
Why? Why let this child do childish things?
Maybe it’s because left to our own devices, we realise the smallness of our actions. We realise how feeble are our attempts for control. We see how much we lack for faith, how little love and strength we have to make it through a day. To see the power of sin, of missing everything God has in store for us.
I see it in myself. I see how I wallow in my own excrement of my doing. How tired my heart can get, how incapable I am of loving others as I love myself. I’m so small when left to myself. So satisfied at my comfort zone, yet so bitterly unsatisfied at what I could be. What God could make me.
Life is too long a journey,
too arduous in its steps,
too murky to fully grasp,
for me to do it all by myself.
Help me Father. I come to you as a child, I fail, and fail, and fail yet again. Yet, I always think I can do it on my own. I can’t Lord. Sin is too much for me to bear. It’s Yours to wash away.
Come Father, and make me whole. Wipe away the ignorance, the complacency, the waywardness. Restore sight to my blindness. Sensitivity to my numbness. Let Your light shine.
You are grace-full. Holy. Righteous. I am available. Amen.
taking refuge
“But as for me, I shall sing of your strength;
Yes, I shall joyfully sing of your lovingkindness in the morning,
for you have been my stronghold
and a refuge in the day of distress” (Psalm 59:16)
Such confidence in the face of such peril. Here David was, running for his life. The man he thought was for him - Saul - was against him. And he had no home. Yet, in the midst of his enemies, David sings of God’s strength. His lovingkindness. His triumph.
Such confidence!
It’s something so rare today - a man who knows where to go for refuge. Because life always deals us trouble, always puts us face-to-face with our biggest fears, our most hated enemies. You just can’t escape their teeth, their ill-will, their lies. Yet, I see how many of us are conquered by our demons, allow them to tear into us, reducing us into men and women with no foundation, a low sense of identity.
That’s my biggest sin. I don’t stand steadfast when the enemy comes in like a flood. I allow myself to be bowled over, and I lose. But why? Why, when I can call Abba my stronghold? When lovingkindness awaits in the morning? When strength is a gift from God and a song worth singing?
How I must return to God my Refuge. When my worst fears howl around me like a hungry wolf looking for a carcass, I can say, “I’m His.” I’m strong. I’m confident. But not by might, not by power, but by His Spirit.
God in His grace and mercy will meet me. He will give me strength.
Oh Lord. Today, fears swirl around me, threatening to capture my heart. But to you Lord I look, as a Refuge, I take solace there.
May I always learn to sing a song of your strength, even when it’s painful. To know how to take refuge in you, when I need protection. For your grace is enough Oh Lord. It’s more than enough.
Hallelujah. Amen.
leadership in a civil war
“In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes.” (Judges 21:25)
A civil war tore apart Israel. Brother fought brother, sister against sister. Such brutality, hated, vengeance. But the last verse ties everything together well: there was no king. No ruler. No one to govern the land, to bring order and leadership. Everyone did as they saw fit.
Such a true statement for our world today. A world that lacks a king, a people that refuses to be governed. It’s no wonder they fall in miry pits after miry pits, lacking leadership and slowly discovering their plans and ways are flawed.
I see it in my life too. Inside, I am a civil war. God’s leadership over me is faint, barely being tapped into. I see the result of my own hands leading me on. It’s so selfish, often depressed, always lost. It’s alluring to think I can live life according to my whims, fancies and rules. But I’m so easily blown away without God’s leadership. Without a king to rule my heart.
All I can ask, is for God to manifest His Resurrection power in this jar of clay, and lead. In times I’m crushed, broken, afflicted, I must remember it’s not a bad place to be. It’s a place I need to search for my King, and let Him set the rules. Let Him restore order. Let Him bring the civil war in my heart to a halt. Life, His way.
Father, I am lawless. I often go after many distractions, and lack leadership. Steer me O God. Steer me down a path of righteousness and freedom. Come and fill this jar of clay with your light.
Lead me Father. May your leadership be something I seek for everyday. Amen.
When we were little, life worked perfectly. No matter what happened, everything turned out alright in the end. Scraped knees, canceled play dates, dropped ice cream cones— we would cry for a short time, but by the end of the day, everything would be perfect. And now as we’ve grown older, we’ve lost the faith as we stumble through each day; crying over broken hearts, lost friendships, and lost dreams. It seems like life and perfection have turned their backs on us, but really it’s just that we’ve grown up. As children we didn’t pay attention to such details about our daily lives, but now we are more aware, and the little details seem to be amplifying our pain. But just remember that when we were younger, life was hard too, but we had faith in perfection because we could look past faults. So don’t lose your faith. Learn to know that each day will pass, each heartache will be mended, and everything will be perfect in the end.
(source)
“If I no longer believe in a personal God, looking down and judging me, why do I still feel guilt over my wrongdoings and shortcomings?”
